The art of complaining!!

I can count the times I have complained on 1 hand without even having to use all my fingers
1) I was out to dinner with some of the girls
ME: Oh excuse me please, but there is a hair in my dinner
2) Out to dinner again (at uni)

ME: Oh excuse me please, but I didn't order this.

And this, the third time, the ONLY time I have ever actually WRITTEN a letter of complain!

Dear Sir,

We have just returned from a week at XXXXXX. We were in fact due to return tomorrow but as the signs at your 5 star resort stipulate, we were having ‘too much fun’ and had to return as the excitement had become unbearable.

We arrived on Monday and parked in the main car park. I especially liked how you had hidden the car park sign to make finding the car park all that more of a challenge.

Next we went to reception to check in and collect our key. Lucky for you, I love standing in queues for hours for no reason, because after half an hour we got told we were in fact in the wrong place and we then were herded into a room to join an even longer queue. I think making people queue according to surname is ingenious. I think you should call it the ‘Surname Lottery’. If your surname begins with a letter towards the beginning of the alphabet then BOOM you are a winner ,because you get to stand in a queue for hours, whilst the poor people whose surname starts with a later letter, have the misfortune to have to walk straight to the front as their queue does not even exist. It is an excellent use of staff resources to have a member of staff unable to check people in because their surname does not begin the correct letter.

After the joy of collecting our key, we arrived at our apartment. I am overjoyed to tell you that despite check in time was 4PM, our room was not ready till 7.30PM. This meant that we were able to wander aimlessly around your centre for hours, as all activities appeared to close at 6. Thank you for that opportunity.

Having made the decision to hire bedding from the centre after being quoted £8 for a double and £5 for a single, a total of £13, I was DELIGHTED to have then been charged £10 for a single and £20 for  a double, I loved paying more than double the amount I was quoted. We were then told the price that we were quoted was the pre-booked price. Obviously had we been told this previously, we still would not have pre-booked as who doesn’t love paying twice the amount they originally expected?

As I am sure you are aware, what with you being the manager and all, that the XXXX Apartments are self-catered and perhaps as the manager you may also be aware of where our grill pan is. Having asked for it three times, I can only assume, the person bringing it to us got lost, which is an easy mistake to make.

Something else to congratulate you on is the bed. I have slept on one that is more uncomfortable than the one in that apartment. Now, XXX, you joker you, I know you did this for our benefit, so we would spend as much time as possible awake and enjoying the facilities. You really nailed it by making the curtains hang off so as well as the bed being uncomfortable, the room constantly felt like it was day time. I loved it.

Now, as I have said before I love queuing pointlessly for hours, so what a privilege it was to be able to queue for a full half an hour (from 3.30-4) to then be told that the crazy golf closed at 4. Lucky for me , there was no sign up to tell us that it closed at 4 or I wouldn’t have been able to stand there for half an hour.

And finally the pool. I thought it was HILARIOUS  how you missed off the minus sign before the advertised 25 degrees for the pool temperature. What a hoot!

Thank you XXXXX for this ‘once in a life time’ experience and I do mean ONCE in a life time

Yours

Bex.

PS where is our grill pan?